European Language!
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
DONT FORGET TO READ THIS-
DISKLAIMER:
This message (inkluding al ze english erors, inkonsistensis und politikal klaims) contains confidential and/or proprietary information intended only for the addressee.
Any unauthorized disclosure, copying, distribution (exsept forvarding it fur fun) or reliance on the contents of this information is strictly prohibited and may constitute a violation of law (even outsid ze European Union, inkluding virles internet enabled NASA spas stations, vish is aktualy inter national/spasial 'Spas' und not US teritory despit al ze desperat klaims).
If you are not the intended recipient, please notify the sender immediately by responding to this e-mail (viz kind vords sush as Sir, Pleas, Kindly, etc.) and delete the message from your system.
If you have any questions about this e-mail please notify the sender immediately (al klaims und questions in Neo English only, it vil remain an open sours furever, long liv 'FREDOM').
ZIS DISKLAIMER VAS VRITEN IN SVITZERLAND, HENS NO EU LAW IS APLIKABL ON ZE WRITER OR HIS EMPLOYERS.
KUM, LET US KREAT A BETER VORLD!
Tirumale Venugopal Srinaz
Projekt Ofiser,
'Edukation Fur Al'
Vorld Skut Bureau
Ru du Pré-Jérom 5
P.O. Box 91
SH-1211 Geneva 4 Plainpalais
SVITZERLAND
Tel: (+41 22) 705 10 10
Fax: (+41 22) 705 10 20
Skyp: srinathtv
[ mailto:srinath@scout.org ]srinath@scout.org ([ mailto:srinath@skut.org ] srinaz@skut.org in on year)
[ http://www.scout.org/ ]www.scout.org ([ http://vvv.skut.org/ ] vvv.skut.org in tvo years)
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
DONT FORGET TO READ THIS-
DISKLAIMER:
This message (inkluding al ze english erors, inkonsistensis und politikal klaims) contains confidential and/or proprietary information intended only for the addressee.
Any unauthorized disclosure, copying, distribution (exsept forvarding it fur fun) or reliance on the contents of this information is strictly prohibited and may constitute a violation of law (even outsid ze European Union, inkluding virles internet enabled NASA spas stations, vish is aktualy inter national/spasial 'Spas' und not US teritory despit al ze desperat klaims).
If you are not the intended recipient, please notify the sender immediately by responding to this e-mail (viz kind vords sush as Sir, Pleas, Kindly, etc.) and delete the message from your system.
If you have any questions about this e-mail please notify the sender immediately (al klaims und questions in Neo English only, it vil remain an open sours furever, long liv 'FREDOM').
ZIS DISKLAIMER VAS VRITEN IN SVITZERLAND, HENS NO EU LAW IS APLIKABL ON ZE WRITER OR HIS EMPLOYERS.
KUM, LET US KREAT A BETER VORLD!
Tirumale Venugopal Srinaz
Projekt Ofiser,
'Edukation Fur Al'
Vorld Skut Bureau
Ru du Pré-Jérom 5
P.O. Box 91
SH-1211 Geneva 4 Plainpalais
SVITZERLAND
Tel: (+41 22) 705 10 10
Fax: (+41 22) 705 10 20
Skyp: srinathtv
[ mailto:srinath@scout.org ]srinath@scout.org ([ mailto:srinath@skut.org ] srinaz@skut.org in on year)
[ http://www.scout.org/ ]www.scout.org ([ http://vvv.skut.org/ ] vvv.skut.org in tvo years)
Labels: british, england, english, Euro, european union, geneva, german, language, money, switzerland
posted by Srinath TV | 12:34 PM
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